Birth Stories

The night we met Jane
July 2, 2007

Labor began on Sunday, July 1st. Around 6pm as I was getting up from a nap, my water released. I had experienced a lot of warm up surges the night before so it is likely that I had been in early labor for several hours before my water released. I had also noticed a change in my mood - I was pretty crabby and just wanted to be left alone!

Complying with my wishes, Matt had taken our older two children up to the playground to ride bikes. Incidentally, that very same day Ellie learned to ride a two wheeler for the first time! My parents were staying nearby for several weeks surrounding my due date. After careful consideration, I had invited my mom to be present at the birth. She had missed out on the births of my first two children, and this time I wanted her to be with me. When I came down the stairs to announce my big news that labor was starting, no one was home! I was sort of surprised and chuckled that I thought I'd have an excited audience with which to share my news, but in fact they had all gone away (probably due to my sour mood earlier!)

I called my mom to let her know and she was indeed very excited! She showed up at the house not long after my call, proudly carrying her overnight bag and saying "I made it 13 minutes!" as if the baby might have been born before she arrived if she hadn't hurried. I assured her we had some time to go.

At this point I was just crampy and not having very regular surges. I called Deborah, my midwife, to let her know she'd be needed at some point. I expressed my concern that there was some meconium in the water, but Deborah was wonderfully calm and said she'd check back with me in a little while. We spoke again close to 8pm and I told her that while they were not too strong, the surges were coming every 3 minutes. She decided to come over and arrived at 8:30 pm. She checked the clothes I had been wearing when my water released, and said the meconium was really light and not to worry. I was so relieved because I had been kind of worried that the mec would necessitate a transfer to the hospital (something I had put completely out of my head as a possibility. This baby was being born at home!) After Deborah set my mind at ease that everything was going beautifully, we talked and ate some snacks, and listened to the baby's heart tones. When a surge came I would just lean over and breathe deeply and slowly. The surges were not hard to handle at all.

By 10:30pm I was having regular strong surges, although they did come and go a little bit. Sometimes I would get a longer break between two surges. I never really timed the surges except at the very beginning. It was so nice to not be concerned with numbers, and to just let my body and baby do what was needed. I did ask Deborah to check me at this point, which was not her inclination. She would have been perfectly happy to let me go with no vaginal exams. I'm sure she was considering the fact that my bag of waters was released and that vaginal exams increase the risk of infection. But I really wanted to know where I was so that we could determine if everyone should go to bed or if I could get into the birthing pool (that warm water looked so inviting!) It turned out I was still in early labor, around 3-4 cm and quite a bit effaced. Deborah encouraged me to try to rest with the lights out and to avoid the pool for now since it might slow the labor if I got in too early.

I spent the next hour or so laboring all on my own in the dark in my bedroom. Matt fell asleep in our bed and I sat on the birth ball leaning into a pillow that was propped on top of the birth pool. I listened to my hypnosis cd's and also my birthing music that I had picked out just for the occasion ("spiraling in the center", "I am opening up in sweet surrender...", "mother I feel you under my feet, mother I hear your heart beating...")

By midnight I was getting uncomfortable and wanted to get into the water. I thought about waking Deborah, who was in the next room, but as I came out of the bathroom she met me in the hall. I don't think she had been asleep, just resting and waiting for me to let her know when it was time. Around 12:30am I REALLY wanted to be in the water so I got in. We did not do another vaginal exam, we just went with my intuition that it was time to get into the pool. The warm water felt wonderful but labor was very intense at this point so during the surges I was having to concentrate hard on staying relaxed. I moaned through many surges while hanging over the side of the pool. I did my visualizations and slow breathing (HypnoBirthing) and that helped tremendously. This labor was amazingly forceful! I was astonished at the power inside my body, and it took all of my concentration to stay relaxed and confident, and not let fear creep in. The power of Birth is so strong that it's easy to become fearful and afraid. I know from all my childbirth training that the last thing you want to do is let fear, anxiety, or tension into your birth. So I stayed calm and relaxed and just flowed in and out of the surges, riding the big huge waves that were washing over me. The surges were coming close and strong and when each one peaked it was just so... INTENSE. I tried visualizing my belly as a balloon as I had done during my prior birthing, but that wasn't cutting it. Instead I dreamed up a huge, colorful, hot air balloon hanging over me. My long slow breath was keeping the balloon afloat.

Surge begins... breathe and visualize the colorful hot air balloon... just keep giving it my breath and I'll be OK... that's it just a little longer and it will subside... breathe and vocalize... match the intensity with my voice... it won't last forever... the baby will come out eventually...every surge brings the baby closer to me.

These were the kinds of thoughts that were running through my head as I labored through the wee hours of the morning of July 2nd. I started exhaling with the sound "hoooooo.... hoooo" because in my head I was thinking "WHO are you?" about the baby I was finally going to meet. I didn't know the baby's gender and we had not yet settled on names, so I was very eager to find out who this baby was -- this proved to be extremely motivating to me. I focused a lot on how excited I was to finally meet this new person.

I must have been in the water for about 90 minutes. I think I got out twice to go the bathroom. I had no indication that the baby had moved down or that I was "complete" (at 10cm) until suddenly I felt the head drop way down onto my perineum. The feeling was incredible. I felt so full. I didn't need any confirmation - I just knew instinctively that my baby was about to be born. I looked up into Deborah's face with a look of surprise and told her "there's a head!" Then I PUSHED so hard and roared so loudly as I pushed the head out. It was uncontrollable. I just suddenly felt like I really wanted to push that baby out. I had "breathed the baby down" up until that point, but didn't realize that was what I was doing at the time. Having not had any vaginal exams, I had no way of knowing what "stage" I was in, nor did I care to know. So with a strong push, the head was out and I was panting "OK, OK, OK" while caressing the baby's head with my hands. It was so strange to feel the baby's hair moving around in the water. I could feel everything, even the little ears and nose. I had both hands on the baby's head and I had this irrational fear that the head would somehow go back in. (Which is really crazy, given that I teach childbirth ed!) So I hung onto that little baby head and waited for the next urge to push. It seemed like just a few seconds before I had another urge to bear down. I gave one more huge push and the baby squirmed out into my waiting hands. It was wild to catch my own baby! My midwife patiently watched and let me do my own thing. I was so grateful for that.

I flopped over into a sitting position (I had been on my knees) and just cradled my new baby against my chest. I immediately checked to see the gender and giddily announced to the room "It's a girl!" followed by "She's OK. She's OK." I knew with every fiber of my being that she was healthy and breathing and just perfect. I held her and gazed at her, and she back at me. It was a fantastic birth and looking back, I think it was rather easy as births go. But in the moment it felt really difficult. Funny how birth goes like that.

My mom and Cynthia (my doula and friend) took lots of photos, and eventually someone asked what we were going to call her. I had a short list of my favorites, but Matt hadn't weighed in yet. He listened to me go through my list again (Andrea, Loretta, Erin, Adelyn, Jane) and he picked Jane. As soon as he said it out loud I knew it fit her perfectly. We decided to call her Jane Crawford Pokress.

It felt like just moments, but I guess we stayed in the warm water for about 40 minutes before Deborah suggested we see about the placenta. It had not come on its own, and the cord was still attached. I reluctantly decided to exit the birth pool and get onto the bed to push a little. I birthed the placenta into a glass bowl on my bed. My mom thought that was pretty cool, because she had to get up really close to me and hold the baby since we were still attached by the umbilical cord. Some people might be ooked out by that, but she had the advantage of nursing training, plus she's my mom and I know for a fact that moms are always OK with bodily fluids from their own offspring!

So with the placenta delivered and wrapped in a chux pad, it came time to cut the cord. Matt did the honors, and for the first time since her conception, Jane was completely on her own. Ellie woke up shortly after and came in to meet her little sister. My mom went to wake up Nate and he came in after Ellie had a chance to get to know Janie a bit. We have heart warming photos of the kids gazing at their new baby sister with wonder.

Sometime around 4am we finally decided it was time for everyone to get to bed. Deborah left us tucked safely in our warm bed - Matt on one side, me on the other, and Jane in between. I was so full of endorphins and oxytocin, just in love with everything and everyone. I lay still and listened to the soft little sounds Jane was making in her sleep, and I found it hard to fall asleep. I was still a little bit in disbelief that a new little baby was here with us!

I did finally drift off to sleep around 5am, and the next morning Jane and I were the first ones out of bed around 8:30. I spoke to my sister on the phone and then just waited downstairs with baby Jane until the rest of the family woke up and we had breakfast. Later in the day my father and Matt's father came over and we had a "Happy 'O'th Birthday Jane" celebration. That cake and champagne provided the perfect ending to a perfect birth experience.

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Email me: shaileen@gmail.com

HypnoBirthing^® - Taking the World by Calm